Suddenly i'm missing the queenies. Probably because i've been talking to all of them- aside from Mawar- quite frequently recently. And i truly miss them and the smashing times we had during Secondary School. I was talking to Munee last night and realised just how fast time has flown. It seemed like last year that i got of Secondary School when in actual fact it has been five years.

Five goddamned years already. Dear God, has it been that long? Here we are, leading a different life with different thoughts and views of life. Yet, our friendship stays strong despite having to lead a busy life. Of course it isn't easy to maintain such a friendship, considering that our social circles expand daily and life gets harder for every individual of us.

Well, i believe we've gone through much to get this friendship to work. At least on my part i think so. I remember there was a period of time when all i wanted was to lose touch with all of them, the queenies. Not that i didn't like any one of them and all, but i was thinking practically. You see, i didn't meet them often. And back then, when a mini reunion was organised, i failed to attend since it was usually in the evenings till late night or it'd just clash with one of my commitments. At the end of the day you have to lose contact with all of them, so why not do it now? That was what i thought then.

Well that was the reason, or rather excuse, I've been giving to myself and everyone else until quite recently. The real reason was, i don't feel that i belong with the queenies. We differ in everything. I don't feel that i've got anything common with all of them.  They can do whatever they want, but my freedom is restricted. They can get whatever they want but i have to think more than once to get something that i want. They're loud but i'm more reserved.

The list could simply go on. Whenever i was with them then, i just felt left out. I felt that it wouldn't have made a difference if i came for the meet-ups or not. And then i decided, i did not wish to join them to wherever they would be going.

But you know, as i grew older and became more matured i began to realise that there were definitely people who i want to throw out of my life and the queenies weren't them.

The queenies and i could be different in every ways, but eventually they were the ones who were there in most part of my life. They were there when i was emotionally down in life, they were there when i needed to share my happiness, they were there when all i wanted was to be left alone. They were always there, only i didn't see them. I didn't want to see them.

They don't contact me on a daily basis and i don't meet up with them frequently as well, but i know one thing for sure, i'm still present in their lives- no matter how small that presence could be- as they are in mine.

And i know with certainty that i do not ever want to lose them- in any way- from my life. The queenies' presence are permanent in my life whether any one of them likes it or not.

Soooo, to that certain someone out there, i don't know why you're hiding from us when you're keeping the whole world with you, but please think over this once again. If you still think that we're not worthy to become your friends then i shan't stop you any longer.